That Wrong Thong in Patong

I swear there should be a thong police at all beaches, particularly gay ones (since straights don’t take a liking to butt floss as much as the gays do). Neon green, leopard-print, lace, and see through are just some of the varieties. There are also some that seem invisible since fat rolls (back and front) cover most of the thong. There’s also the just as wrong convertible thong – the speedo that is crammed up the butt crack. Thongs look wrong on even the hottest guys but the ones who are not paid to wear them are over the age of 50, overweight, and leathery skin.

Besides the panoply of banana hammocks, Patong, the touristy beach in Phuket, has a nice beach, tons of dining and hotel options, and lots of bars. Yami, Steve and I had a busy 4 days of food, beach and bars.

The boy bars are mostly cabaret/go-go boy bars with seniors looking for “company”. The highlights of the cabaret shows were a Bollywood full cast production and Madonna’s “Vogue” all done with Thai dancers in traditional costume. Steve and I were almost attacked by a pair of tit-flashing, crotch grabbing, drunk trannies who I thought were showing us naked male crotch porn on their cell phones. I later realized it was pictures of THEIR manly bits. Ick.

The three of us had a wonderful time and only wished we had a few more days to do a little less partying and a little more beach time.

Yami is now back in Sydney and I am in Bangkok staying with Steve. No, we are not divorced nor “taking time off”. There are some new exciting developments which we will blog on soon.